Remember me?

I read a tweet today that said "Hi, remember me? We used to be best friends when you were single."

I laughed at first, but then I thought "Damn... I guess I'm not the only one that feels that way."

My friends have always told me that I am the way I am because I don't have a boyfriend. They think I'm bitter and I hate everything related to love just because I'm single and I don't know what it's like to be so stupidly crazy in love that you just reek of cheesiness. "You'll understand when you have a boyfriend."

The truth is... I don't think I ever will.

I think I have a different idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like.

My idea of a relationship is 2 independent people that somehow complement each other. It's finding someone that brings out the best of you and makes you a better person, but never allows you to lose sight of who you really are. It's finding that special someone that you can share your life with, not someone that you surrender your life to. It's finding someone that you can trust enough to know that they won't cheat on you the minute they leave your sight. It's finding someone that has a life of their own and allows you to have one as well. It's finding someone that when something good or bad happens to you, you feel like you want to call, and not that you HAVE to.

My idea of a relationship is certainly not someone who spends every second of their day with me. It's not taking my boyfriend everywhere I go. It's not bringing my boyfriend to every get together or party that I'm invited to. It's not going everywhere with him and forgetting there are actually other people living on planet Earth.

Clearly, my friends seem to disagree with me.

According to my friends, having a boyfriend means forgetting you even had a best friend before your boyfriend showed up. It means seeing your friends only for holidays or birthdays or any other 'special' day because the rest of the days are already taken. It means not being available anymore to any other friend because you've already made plans with your boyfriend. It means getting mad when you ask if you can bring your boyfriend to your girl's night out and they say no. It means deciding not to go wherever you were invited to because he didn't want to go and you can't go by yourself. It means showing up somewhere and leaving 10 minutes later because you're gonna meet up with him. It means standing up your friends because you made plans with him. It means showing up 5 hours late because you were waiting for him to get off his ass and get dressed. It means showing up but being too absent-minded to get involved in the conversation because you're too busy replying to the 400 texts or answering the 200 phone calls. It means bringing your boyfriend along everywhere you go. It means not being able to go on road trips with friends because you can't just leave him. It means not wanting to travel because the poor guy will stay sad and lonely and God knows what would happen. It means thinking you can't spend 2 seconds away from each other because you're gonna die.

I don't get it. I never will.

It's not because I don't have a boyfriend. I have had boyfriends. I have been in relationships. And I have managed to keep my life afloat. I don't understand why you would want to see your boyfriend every freaking day and talk to him 24/7 and just ignore the rest of the world. How do you even have time to miss him if you're always with him? How do you find excitement to call him at night and tell him about something exciting that happened to you during the day if you talked to him all throughout the day?

I like having my own personal time and space. I don't like mixing my worlds.

I think it's good that your boyfriend is friends with your friends and that you can all hang out every now and then and all, but I do not believe in you shoving your boyfriend down my throat, and I certainly don't believe in putting your life aside because of him. You had a life before you met him, why give it up?

You would think I'm used to this by now, but I'm not. I won't get used to it. I refuse to.

I don't like it and I don't have to put up with it.

I've gone through this way too many times and I'm done.

I'm tired of my time with my "friends" having to depend on their boyfriends. I'm tired of having to almost ask for permission to hang out with my friends and make appointments in their busy agendas.

I'm done being there only when things go wrong and they need a shoulder to cry on. I'm done being there only when they're pissed at them and they need "girl time". I'm done being their sloppy seconds. I deserve better than that. Call me crazy, but I deserve better friends.

It's not even a matter of jealousy at this point, it's a matter of respect.

Don't get me wrong. It's cool that you have a boyfriend and all, specially if he makes you so happy that you feel like your life is going to fall apart if you're not together 24/7. But he's YOUR boyfriend, not mine. There is no reason on earth why I should have to see him everywhere I go. There is no reason why I should have to have dinner with him, or go to the movies with him, or go dancing or drinking with him. There is no reason why I should have to go on a road trip with him. He's dating you, not me. You want to spend time with him, not me. He makes you happy, not me. You're the one who can't live without him, not me.

So next time you and your boyfriend get into a fight, or he cheats on you and breaks your heart and you need someone to comfort you and to let you know it's going to be ok, call him, not me.