A friend of mine started telling me how this one book she had been reading mentioned that in different countries, mainly collectivist societies, women were expected to marry at a young age. Some studies carried out throughout the world show that men usually start thinking they want to settle down at about 28 years old, women at 24.
Some Asian countries believe being 25 and single is by far the worst thing that could ever happen to a woman. You NEED to get married, you NEED to have a family, you NEED to be a housewife in order to fulfill your role as a woman. That's what you were born for.
Women who are 26 or older and have not gotten married, are likely to stay single and become the so-called spinsters.
OK... I understand studies show all this crap. But why?
Why do I need to worry about being 26 and not being married yet? Why does society try to make me feel like I'm a failure as a woman because I don't have somebody else's last name?
Why does society have to assume I'm going to either become a nun or start going to church everyday to find inner peace and reassure myself that God loves me, since no other man can?
Who established this stupid marrying age thing?
Why do people look at me like I have 5 heads when I say I'm single? Why do they give me the "Aw, I'm sorry" look when I say I don't have a boyfriend?
I don't need a man to prove how strong or how much of a woman I am. I AM a strong, determined, self-reliant woman, without kids, and without a husband.
Sometimes I think about some people I met back in the States, people who are a lot older than me and never even worry about being single. For what I remember, only Hispanics back in the US used to tell me I was missing the train... But again, why? Why do we feel the need to depend on somebody else to be truly happy? Why can't we focus on making OURSELVES happy rather than somebody else?
Sometimes I really think I was born in the wrong country and I grew up in the wrong culture. Sometimes I think there are just way too many discrepancies between me and my society, but I don't care. I refuse to give in.
I refuse to torture myself every night thinking I'm never going to get married. I refuse to believe I'm going to be frustrated and bitchy because I never changed my name or because I never found "the perfect catch".
I have plans of my own. I have plans that don't include a husband and children. I have plans that, as a matter of fact, would probably get ruined if these characters happened to be in the picture.
I don't think I'm missing the train. And I hate those who tell me so.
You don't miss the train unless you want to.
There's more than one train in life. There are plenty of trains... You just have to decide which one you want to get on.
If I miss the marriage train, I do know for a fact I haven't missed the most important one: the happiness train.
I got on that one a while ago and I packed everything I need.
If I ever decide to switch trains, then I will, but for now, I'm enjoying this ride.
